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Boulevard Shagnastys House of Pain

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The Mang - 09-17-2010

I answered this call and ordered some magazines. I got the usual, Sports Illustrated, Time, Penthouse... and they offered me a free subscription to "Anchovies", a culinary magazine. Being a bit of an chef, and since the price was right I took them up on the subscription.
About three days later, I got a call from the same number. The man on the other end asked, "Did you order 'Anchovies'?" I said yes, and he said "We are on our way." he then hung up the phone. I thought it was a little weird, but went back to watching womens topless kick-boxing on some Thai sports channel I get on my pirated satellite and fell asleep.

When I woke up, my front door was wide open, there was signs of a struggle, and my wife was gone.

No one had seen her for over 6 months. I was despondent, and started frequenting sports bars in order to drown my sorrow. Last week, I was sitting at the bar watching some Pro-Am bowling event on ESPN2, and one of the guys at the bar commented that the guy bowling had a strnage looking bowling ball. I looked closer, and nearly lost my mind! All I could do was shout "THAT'S NO BOWLING BALL! THAT'S MY WIFE!"

I got out of the hospital a week ago. The doctors say I was suffering from a nervous breakdown, but I know what I saw. Just be warned, when they offer you a free subscription, say...

NO ANCHOVIES PLEASE!

Caller type: Telemarketer
Caller: Buttercup
Company: Boulevard Shagnastys House of Pain
Number: 717-910-4139

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